"I was so tired of struggling, something had to change..."

I was speeding down the freeway. 

Sure, I know I (we) shouldn’t have been “speeding”. But my brother was driving, while I was sitting in the passenger seat leaning against the door. My head was spinning.  

My fingers were on the door handle…

All my brain kept saying to me was “Open the door. Just fall out on the freeway… you could end it all right now”.  

I was so tired of the heaviness of life and the struggle. I just needed a break. 

Clearly, I was at my lowest point. 

The thought brought tears to my eyes, but in some weird way the thought also seemed like relief…

No matter how much I tried to “think positive” about life... It wasn’t working. I felt heavy. My life was a mess. It didn’t feel fair. 

I wanted to start over with life…or have a different life. But I guess that’s not really how life works. 

My fiancé had left a few months prior. At work, I went from a career in network engineering that I loved, to being home all day, in pain.  I was a financial mess and things were only getting worse. I was in so much physical pain… and felt so disconnected from everyone.  

Sure I had people around me, but I felt alone. 

I was so uncertain about my entire life…. and there was nothing I could do to change it. 

Or so I thought.

As he was driving, with tears in my eyes I kept looking out of the side window to notice the cars that we were passing on the freeway. 

I started to move my fingers to open the car door…

Flashing back on my life, I was more stuck, in fear and more uncertain about my life than I had ever been and nothing was working. 

It was like one cloudy day that turned into another. Then a dark year and another…it just didn’t end. How did I end up there? 

So many people are feeling that way right now. Heavy. Stressed. Uncertain. Depressed. Like they are wanting life to feel happier and easier. 

And I understand it.  I never thought I would be so “off” in my own life. 

You need to know what I didn’t know that day…. The truth is:

…that while I felt like I couldn’t change it, I didn’t realize that I was the ONLY person who could change it. 

…You may wonder, with all of those problems, you were able to change your life?  

Thank God, the answer is YES!! 

And, when I did, MY ENTIRE LIFE actually changed…. And I felt happy and safe, and good and smiling. Literally, everything changed. Which I know sounds impossible. I understand. 

But my happiness changed. My relationship changed. My career changed. My finances changed. Yep… Everything changed…. and it started inside of ME.

Whether you’re feeling a “little off” …or like you’re at your wits end like I was, come join me.